Break dancing

I see a particular maneuver a lot. Can you spot the one I'm talking about?

Hint: It is not chill.

* * * * * *

"When Gene remembers those months in Baltimore, he says he felt like he was floating—in rough seas. He worked three food-service jobs, lived in his parents' unheated basement, and still struggled to make ends meet. Desperate for a change, he made a big decision.

"He moved to Las Cruces, New Mexico, an hour's drive from a tiny town called Hatch. If he were going to become a chile expert, he needed to be close to the Holy Land."

* * * * * *

Problem? Anyone?

The paragraph break is in the wrong place.

Look how much cleaner and clearer the flow is if the first paragraph's last sentence becomes the second paragraph's first sentence. Then the first paragraph is all about conflict, and the second paragraph is all about conflict resolution.

Picking the wrong break is an easy mistake to make when you're writing a first draft. You're overeager, straining to hop onto your next point. But it's an easy mistake to see and fix if you're editing yourself or another writer.

Think of your fourth-grade writing teacher and her constant harping on topic sentences. Each paragraph should carry only one main point. So, here, paragraph one = "Times were tough." Paragraph two = "A transformation begins."

Bust a move. Break it down right.